Mother’s Day and Grief: Holding Space for the Heartbreak Behind the Flowers

Mackenzie Broomfield
May 10
3 min read

Mother’s Day arrives each year with pastel colors, brunch menus, and floral advertisements — a celebration of love, nurturing, and gratitude. For many, it is a joyful day. But for others, it quietly echoes with pain, grief, and longing. Behind the cards and carnations, Mother's Day can be one of the hardest days of the year for those carrying invisible losses.

Grief wears many faces, and on a day that spotlights motherhood, those faces often go unseen. Whether it’s the silence of infertility, the ache of child loss, or the distance from a strained relationship, grief does not take a holiday.

Grieving a Child

For those who have lost a child — whether in pregnancy, infancy, childhood, or adulthood — Mother’s Day can feel unbearable. The world’s celebration may feel like a cruel reminder of what was taken. There is no timeline for this kind of pain, no expiration date on love. Even in the silence, these mothers remain mothers. Their love is not less valid because their arms are empty. It's often deeper, etched with both memory and longing.

The Pain of Infertility

For women yearning to become mothers but unable to conceive, Mother's Day can feel like an exclusive club they desperately want to join. The reminders are everywhere — friends with babies, commercials full of smiling toddlers, social media posts celebrating motherhood. The grief of infertility is complicated: it is grief for a life imagined but not yet real, a hope repeatedly met with heartbreak. It's a quiet sorrow, often invisible, but no less profound.

Child Apprehension and Separation

For mothers whose children have been taken into care, Mother's Day can carry immense sorrow, guilt, and stigma. These mothers may sit with the sharp pain of absence and the judgment of others, often with little support. Their grief is compounded by systemic challenges and personal regret, yet they, too, are mothers — aching, loving, and mourning.

Strained Mother-Child Relationships

Not all mother-child relationships are nurturing or safe. For those whose experiences with their mothers are marked by emotional distance, abuse, or neglect, Mother's Day can bring confusion and emotional turmoil. The societal pressure to honour motherhood may feel invalidating. These individuals may grieve the relationship they wished they had — a grief that is complicated, often hidden, and deeply personal.

Estrangement from Children or Parents

Estrangement, whether from a mother or a child, brings a different kind of mourning. It's the grief of a relationship still technically alive but broken. There may be layers of trauma, misunderstanding, or betrayal. On Mother's Day, this rift can feel wider, as public celebration highlights what is missing in private. The hope for reconciliation may still live, or it may have been let go. Either way, the grief remains.

The Loss of a Mother

For those who have lost their mothers, Mother's Day reopens the wound. Whether the loss was recent or long ago, the day often brings a wave of memories — some warm, others painful. Grief is not linear, and the absence of a mother figure leaves a hole in the heart that never fully closes. This day may be spent quietly, lighting a candle, scrolling past tributes online, or simply surviving.

Holding Space for Grief on Mother's Day

This Mother’s Day, let’s remember that joy and grief often coexist. Let’s be gentle with those around us, and with ourselves. Not all grief is visible, and not all pain is shared out loud.

If this day is difficult for you, you are not alone. Your grief is valid. Your story matters. Whether you spend the day remembering, mourning, avoiding, or honouring — in your own way, at your own pace — know that you are seen.